Wade is a thick-headed, quick tempered security guard at the mall beside the Movie Pit. He has a juvenile sense of humor and can be difficult to handle when angry. Wade considers TK to be his best friend, and worships him for reasons unknown.
The great joys in Wade’s life are drinking beer, lifting weights, and taking part in anything TK is involved in.
Wade dislikes Oscar, and torments and abuses him at every opportunity.
Harley Shmidt works as a pizza delivery person, hostess and waitress at Tubby’s Pizza. She is attractive but surly, and speaks very little, refusing to manufacture the slightest bit of artificial enthusiasm or politeness with anyone.
She grows even less enthusiastic when Oscar pesters her with phone calls, which is several times every week. His efforts to bond with her and impress her fail completely, but infuriate Harley. She explodes with anger at him every so often, when she grows tired of his clownish behaviour.
Harley’s least favorite person, however, is probably Penelope, who hates Harley at first sight and seems to think Harley is interested in Oscar romantically. Penelope provokes Harley at every opportunity, and has pushed her to the point of violence at least once.
Abigail McCormick is the manager of the Movie Pit. She’s somewhat prim and proper, though her temper often betrays her icy demeanor. She is committed to running a tight ship at the video store, and keeping Oscar and TK productive.
She has a soft spot for the guys, and becomes fast friends with Oscar, though she is driven and serious while he is goofy and soft. TK, on the other hand, pushes Abigail’s buttons relentlessly, and the conflict between the two is a proverbial time bomb.
Abigail has a long distance boyfriend named Cal, whom she’s never met in person.
Oscar Strange is a long-time clerk at the Movie Pit. He spends a good deal of his time devouring movies, and dreaming about women, especially Harley, the sexy pizza delivery girl.
Oscar’s a bit of a clown, and seems to function as a chew toy for the abusive tendencies of the people around him. But he cares about his friends, and probably enjoys their eccentricities.
He has a strong suspicion that all is not as it seems in his comfortable little world, and is fairly sure that he’s being WATCHED. By whom, or to what end, he couldn’t say.
Oscar quickly bonds with Abigail when she comes to work at the store.
So Harley came in to the store today. Niiiiiice.
You know, I find it quite interesting that she keeps coming in here throughout the week. Of course, she claims it’s because I keep ordering food from her. But there are certainly OTHER pizza delivery people working there, right? It doesn’t HAVE to be Harley every day, does it? Is it just a coincidence that she happens to be the delivery worker on shift when I call? (note to self: She starts work at 3:00 tomorrow)
Anyway, I had a chance to engage in another flirty little convo with her this afternoon. How did it go? Well, see for yourself in my transcription of of our conversation…
Me: Hey there, you! Hey there!
Me: Whatcha got there, pizza?
Harley: (unintelligible, sounded vaguely profane)
Harley: It’s the food you ordered.
Me: Isn’t that something. So how you doing on this glorious day, my dear?
Me: No, I said HOW are you doing, not–
Harley: You have to pay for this.
Me: Oh, I know. I-
Harley: I need a tip, too. Twenty percent.
Me: Oh. Well, I guess I could.
Harley: Gimme that. Okay, that’s good.
Me: So, what’s shakin’ this weekend, anyway? Any big plans, or-?
(Harley leaves, muttering something unintelligible again).
Our little courtship dance continues!